Today I had one of those days where I felt like public enemy number one! Do you know the days I mean?
Don’t get me wrong, I did some work that made me feel good and got some nice feedback from patients. But, most of the day was spent giving unwelcome news, making decisions to manage risk and generally being ‘bad cop’.
The amount of times today, I’ve wanted to say, “Look! I’d rather we could work together and get along, but the long and short of it is- I’m not here to be your friend, I’m here to keep you safe!”
The trouble working in the environment that I do, is that trying to keep people safe, does not always match their plans…
Still, I remind myself why I do this… And it’s so, so, utterly worth it.
Hi there! I'm a registered mental health nurse from the UK. For many years now, I've battled Depression and Anxiety and fought my assumptions that I "should" be able to cope better given my profession and that this made me a failure. Slowly but surely, with the help of my colleagues, friends and family, I'm learning to be kinder to myself- I am a human, first. My hope for this blog is that I can use it to document my highs and my lows, as I embark on an experiment to make life a little better for myself, using the teachings from a fabulous book I read- 'Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy and Liberation' by Thich Nhat Hanh. And if I manage to inspire a couple of others along the way, then it's all been worth while! I'm choosing transformation- Are you?
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8 thoughts on ““I’m not here to be your friend…””
Your job is selfless and it uses up a lot of human emotion that we only have a certain sized tank of. I’m sure if you use it up too quick and don’t get to recharge it, it can be tough on you. Any job like that is draining and rewarding but these don’t cancel each other out like people think they do! Keep breathing! The world needs people like you !! Probably more than they realise ! Slightly differently but as a foster dad I know how much emotion and effort it took to provide the needs of a child and the 24 hour stress of looking after a states child. Much harder than your own!
It can be tough, you’re right. Thank you! You too- I can only imagine the challenges that being a Foster parent must present. That really requires patience and resilience, but so rewarding too, I imagine! Life changing, in fact.
So true! You work in an environment where you give your best, yet might feel underappreciated. I sometimes felt the same way when I was teaching in an urban middle school.
That’s true. I imagine that everyone who works with people encounter the same frustrations from time to time! The fallibility of human nature… Thank you, I shall 🙂
Thank you for sharing!.. I helped my late wife deal with cancer for four years and my late mother deal with declining old age (she passed away at 93) and while I am no ways near your calibre, I do have an idea of what you have to face from time to time… 🙂 you are to be commended for your understanding, courage, dedication and compassion!!.. Kudos to you!!.. 😉
“I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” Stephen Grellet
Thank you. It’s different when it’s your family though, when you can’t just go home and try to leave it at the door! Well done for being there through it all, that’s real courage x
“I’m here to keep you safe!” Wouldnt that be more honest if you reworded that, “I am here to HELP keep you safe”? Do you not work as part of a team? Why take the world on your shoulders when you are not the only person with the responsibility to help someone stay safe? Moreover, the person themself has to help keep them safe.
You spoke about catastrophizing in a previous post, putting all that responsibilty upon yourself is like catastrophizing. Please, lighten your load, SHARE IT. Trying to be Atlas is like waiting for disaster to strike.
Thank you. Yes, I guess so! Encouraging others to take onus of their own actions is also empowering, for everybody (usually). It’s so easy to forget that there is support for you, when you’re in the middle of a rant!
Choose Transformation 
Your job is selfless and it uses up a lot of human emotion that we only have a certain sized tank of. I’m sure if you use it up too quick and don’t get to recharge it, it can be tough on you. Any job like that is draining and rewarding but these don’t cancel each other out like people think they do! Keep breathing! The world needs people like you !! Probably more than they realise ! Slightly differently but as a foster dad I know how much emotion and effort it took to provide the needs of a child and the 24 hour stress of looking after a states child. Much harder than your own!
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It can be tough, you’re right. Thank you! You too- I can only imagine the challenges that being a Foster parent must present. That really requires patience and resilience, but so rewarding too, I imagine! Life changing, in fact.
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So true! You work in an environment where you give your best, yet might feel underappreciated. I sometimes felt the same way when I was teaching in an urban middle school.
Remember . . . keep breathing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s true. I imagine that everyone who works with people encounter the same frustrations from time to time! The fallibility of human nature… Thank you, I shall 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing!.. I helped my late wife deal with cancer for four years and my late mother deal with declining old age (she passed away at 93) and while I am no ways near your calibre, I do have an idea of what you have to face from time to time… 🙂 you are to be commended for your understanding, courage, dedication and compassion!!.. Kudos to you!!.. 😉
“I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” Stephen Grellet
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. It’s different when it’s your family though, when you can’t just go home and try to leave it at the door! Well done for being there through it all, that’s real courage x
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“I’m here to keep you safe!” Wouldnt that be more honest if you reworded that, “I am here to HELP keep you safe”? Do you not work as part of a team? Why take the world on your shoulders when you are not the only person with the responsibility to help someone stay safe? Moreover, the person themself has to help keep them safe.
You spoke about catastrophizing in a previous post, putting all that responsibilty upon yourself is like catastrophizing. Please, lighten your load, SHARE IT. Trying to be Atlas is like waiting for disaster to strike.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Yes, I guess so! Encouraging others to take onus of their own actions is also empowering, for everybody (usually). It’s so easy to forget that there is support for you, when you’re in the middle of a rant!
LikeLike